Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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