you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
