woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
