Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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