Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
worst night to have a conscience
Green mimosas i think yes
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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