i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
