i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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