there was a trapeze. enough said
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
