I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
