I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
