I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You pole danced in your parka.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's shark week go big or go home
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
