you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
