just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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