I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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