he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
