Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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