i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
