yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Can I color on your dick again?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
