In the future we'll all be gay
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
