why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
