When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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