it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
