On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
