my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
