Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
