Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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