Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
