Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
