you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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