Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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