would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
