He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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