I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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