Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
