i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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