Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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