You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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