he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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