Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
last night I used snow as a chaser
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
