Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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