So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
