just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
