Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
