Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
