I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
