ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
