Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
