you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Randomize
