I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
