Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
