My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
