It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
