haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
